I’m trying not to get upset but when I saw that news footage of the father handing over his baby over the fence to the American solider I lost it. And now I’m thinking of it again and I’m losing it again. And people are around this time and I don’t want them to see me cry.

Edit: I just went sobbing to my mom about stuff. I was a complete hysterical mess for 10 minutes. I think I really concerned her. I told her it was work getting to me. Which probably is mostly true but the stuff on the news this morning was just heartbreaking. I was 8 when 9/11 happened. So I didn’t totally understand it. Sandy Hook made me cry a bit. But I’ve never been this emotional over a current event. Not even covid.

I wonder if I’m really getting sick or something. This isn’t normal behavior for me at all. I can’t remember the last time I cried and I for sure haven’t sobbed since March 2020.

My temp is 98.9. So it’s nothing serious right now. Although I am concerned just based on my behavior and how I’m acting today. Also my body feels like a steamroller went through it.

But I’m not sure I can do this work thing right now. I don’t know what to do. I want to tell him some personal issues came up and that I’m having problems with my health but thanks for the opportunity and I appreciate it. I don’t know if that would be a good idea or not. But I mean I am a mess right now both physically and mentally.