Ok so I just sent my manager a text. I said I was really sorry to do this but that I wasn’t going to be able to work for them. That I was having some health issues come up that are related to my surgery (PMDD is one of the reasons I’m getting my surgery done along with the medical reasons) but that I really appreciated the opportunity. I told him I’d have to be out longer then I thought. That I talked to my doctor yesterday and found out. I profusely apologized a couple times and stressed how much I wanted to work for them and how I was looking forward to it and I thanked him.

I really should have listened to you guys and waited. I just wanted to be able to pay my rent again and not rely so much on credit cards. But this is the best decision for my physical and mental health. I’ve always been right when making big decisions like this and things have always worked out for me and I’ve ended up happier in the long run.

Now I have to figure out how to explain this one to my therapist. She’s gonna think I have BPD or something with all this back and forth I’ve been doing. It’s seriously just my hormones. The 3 days before my period are the worst

I took 2 Valium 20 minutes before sending that text and they are doing nothing for me.

9/11 is concerning me as well. I’m not sure I want to leave my house at all that day. Is anyone else concerned?