An update.

Yesterday was my birthday. Until two days ago, I hadn't heard from my mother for around six weeks. My aunt invited us over to see her new house. When I picked up mother she wasn't ready, didn't wish me happy birthday until about ten minutes later, hadn't written my card (because "she'd been doing other things"). Dressed scruffily, complaining she'd got nothing to wear. True, because she's got rid of lots of clothes that she could still be wearing. Also, not bothering with nails, make-up etc.

Of course, it wasn't long before she started singing the praises of my brother and sister-in-law who'd "been fantastic" in cleaning her house after walk-in shower installed. I didn't bite, instead admired the work.

Had a nice pub lunch, my cousin joined us. Attempts by my mother to take over the event were deftly avoided. My aunt even advised me to try and take no notice (out of mother's earshot of course!). On the journey home, we talked about my aunt's house. Obvious from mother's attitude that she liked it but wasn't going to admit.

We didn't arrange to meet up again. She has hospital appointment on Monday. Was going to offer then thought her refusal would be a long, drawn out affair. Assume my brother is taking her.

It isn't over. She won't be able to understand why I'm not subjecting myself to her vitriol. It's called self-preservation, retaining self-esteem and not allowing myself to be manipulated.