Thanks for this thread. I can really identify with your post. I struggle with complements of any kind and have done for many years. Also however I crave validation so I experience a vicious cycle of seeking validation while never being able to trust any positive comments I receive. On the other hand I sometimes completely overreact to positive interactions which is equally problematic.

Self esteem issues linked to previous experience are a core part of this for me. I find it hard to believe that I have much value and thus anyone giving me any form of complement is either lying or after something. I like the idea of responding by thanking people for their kind words as it allows you to respond positively but at the same time recognises that there is a space between you, your actions and intent and those of the people you are engaging with. For me that kind of response buys me time to process encounters in a calmer way.

I also think there is a cultural dimension to this. I lived in a household and culture where it was very much the case that no one should get ahead of themselves. I know its a cliche but it really does help me to place myself in positive company.

Cassoway