Jennifer, I echo everyone’s sentiments. My grandmother cared for my grandfather all throughout his worsening dementia. In the last year of his life, he could barely walk, was incontinent, and was just a nasty piece of work because he was upset that he couldn’t remember anything. He would also take it upon himself to do things such as make toast, but he would forget there was toast in the toaster and add more pieces of bread. He almost caused a fire.

She was on the edge (or over the edge really) of a complete breakdown. Since it was just last year and covid was raging my uncle guilted her incessantly, saying if she put him in a home he would die. My uncle isn’t a very nice person. But she literally could not handle it anymore, especially because home health aides were no longer coming out because of covid. She had to put him in the nursing home. There was just no choice.

He did end up passing away six months later but he was 88.

My grandmother did feel guilty but it had to be done. She wasn’t eating or sleeping and constantly on edge. You deserve to maintain your own mental health as well, and like others have said, you can’t help him if you can’t help yourself. If you break down mentally, how will you be able to pull yourself together 24/7 to care for him?

Maybe there is a caregivers group near you, I know we found one for my grandma, but she chose not to go. But there might even be an online support group for caregivers that you can drop into to get some support.