I'm wondering about death.. And that I could die at any moment.. Maybe tomorrow, next year, before age 30.. And I'm very interested in the dreams that I've been having. My dreams are out of control crazy, bringing me into dimensions related to my past, encrypted, encoded with meaning..

I love meaning.. Metaphors, transmissions into my mind.. My consciousness. I want to preserve my consciousness and live in a delusion, escaping from this reality and become eternal. Suicide isn't a good thing.. I need to complete immortality within this life.. But I'm afraid that I don't have enough time.

I stumbled upon the Tibetan Book of the Dead.. But on reddit, people say that it's too heavy for beginners - Although I wonder if I'd understand a good amount from my trip wisdom.. But I better not.

So I will pretend that I'm going to live for 1-2 years.. I will read the books that I would read if that were to be true.. I will find them - But I'm tired.. Very tired. I'll sleep on this today. There's "The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep".. Or any books about preparing for death and about dreams.. I will search on Reddit..

I'm gonna update my most crazy dream in the summer of 2017 after the MDMA.. I will keep copies of it.. As I might lose it