I don’t get how my Valium is getting stronger when I’ve been on the same dose since I started it 2 months ago. I took one at my usual 8:30 time. At 10 my therapist told me I was acting like I was in my own little world. I did tell her I had taken a Valium and we talked about it. Therapy went overall ok. She didn’t tell me if she was vaccinated or not when I was asked. I told her the stuff in Afghanistan was getting to me on Friday. She didn’t say much about that. I got the sense she didn’t exactly care about it. We basically just talked about the work situation that went on last week and how I didn’t regret turning them down. She thought I handled the text to my manager great. But she told me the overall situation I could have handled better. I told her I handled my PMDD these last 3 days by throwing myself into my reading. We talked about my transference T and why she didn’t respond to me. My therapist told me she may never respond and that it could just be a boundary issue. We talked about my sensory issues. I mentioned the headphones I have. She was not mad at me about the emails though and said she didn’t see the one I sent last Monday. We are going to every week even though my budget doesn’t allow it. I need the extra support right now. Even if it’s not the best support I could be getting.

I like her but I feel like she isn’t understanding of the whole trans thing and doesn’t quite get me. She fakes it pretty well though. She stressed today that she does not specialize in the areas I need help in and that’s why she’s switching me. Not because we don’t have a connection.

I don’t know. I left there still feeling stoned but also I was feeling strange about the vaccination conversation. I stopped at Sonic for chili cheese fries. Like a stoner would. I am at home now and I feel ok about things. But man is therapy different where I live now.