It’s not inappropriate, these are things you’re struggling with and want advice on I don’t really have any, but for what it’s worth I can relate to much of what you wrote, especially the social anxiety and bullying. There is no real “should” when it comes to who we are, and whoever we choose to be, everyone will see through their own lens anyway. We can’t meet everyone else’s expectations and it leaves us worse off when we do try to.
Maybe you do give off those ‘afraid’ signals without realising; the psychiatrist who diagnosed me said I gave off ‘go away’ type signals and I was totally unaware of that. Even my current counsellor has asked if I’m aware of how I might be coming across to other people. Truthfully, I rarely talk to people I don’t know when I’m out, so it’s not something I really think about.