I feel really messed up today. I feel like relapsing. Even though last time I relapsed (4 weeks ago) I felt really stupid afterward and like that was dumb. I don't know. It's just stuck in my brain today. I think I'm stressed about stuff that is coming up and I'm just not processing it well. I don't know. I started out the day feeling okay but the longer it goes the worse I feel. I tried making a donation which usually makes me feel better and I'm going shopping after work for groceries for the food distribution this weekend, so that should get my mind off stuff. I think sometimes I'm just a screw up and I'm never going to make it in this world. Sigh.