I just found this site, I just read your response. I am feeling exactly the same way. My husband tells himself all of those things and blames me for where we are. He says he has tried but fighting isn’t trying. He’s says he’s been lonely but watching TV is showing that… he says he’s done. He can’t stand to be around me. He up and left me to handle everything and then bounces in and out “to see the kids.” I agree with everything you said.