My husband and I have been together for 21 years, we have two kids 10 and 9. Our relationship has always had issues, we are different in how we think and view a lot of things in life. He has always been the positive one, me not so much. He took a night job for our kids school schedule and we started to sleep separately due to this schedule and it just became the norm. We then started watching TV separately, too. I have felt like I carry the financial weight and the majority of the housework, he feels the same. He says has tried and tried to make this work but there is no talking to me. I do not feel either of us tried to do more than place blame and ignore each other. We agreed to wait until our lease is up to determine what’s next. Then, he recently came in contact with an ex girlfriend and started texting and talking to her about our relationship. He, of course, didn’t tell me until I caught him. Wednesday morning he left while the kids and I were asleep. Snuck out without saying goodbye, refused to answer or text me. When he finally did, he said he’s done. He’s not going to allow me to “bully” him anymore and that our relationship is “toxic” and kids are “resilient.” All words he had never used toward me… ever. He has since admitted this girl has been a great listener and she’s been there. She just helped him see what he hasn’t been able to say. He now tells me how
this entire situation is my doing. He announced last night he wants a divorce and even if things turned around 100% he just can’t see himself ever being happy with me as I have changed him. He wants to be who he was 20 plus years ago. I am at a loss as to who this man is anymore. He’s leaving was a wake up call for me. I don’t want a divorce and I am surprised by that but when he snaps at me that I put the salt on the wrong shelf, can’t load the dishwasher right and we have too much food in our pantry… I guess I just am the bad guy.