First day of PHP went okay. It was stressful at first but we covered attachment styles and how panic attacks are related and she used a lot of metaphors which I liked, but I found it hard to focus for a lot of the rules and stuff so I'm afraid I'll do something wrong.. She did suggest I have BPD though. I do have a lot of symptoms but I think a lot of people on the bipolar spectrum do without actually having bpd. Also while I was IP literally every patient thought I had an eating disorder (while none of the counselors or doctors said they believed I did though they did force me to eat a chicken salad when I had Li poisoning).

Talked to the doc there, she said she'd sent over two of my prescriptions (that I am extremely low on) and I go to the pharmacy and they give me a days worth of one of them and said there's nothing else sent over. I'm trying to use the affirmations we learned in PHP but I keep forgetting important things like I was supposed to call my PCP and I was already on the phone with my injection nurse and I had an important question about my meds but I forgot to ask. It's too easy to beat myself up. As soon as I realized I forgot my question I SH'd. Today I learned I believe I'm not worthy of stability or health or loving relationships or lots of other things (I could've told you that before though), and I learned that's because I have a preoccupied attachment style because of how my parents raised me or something like that and I need to do these affirmations to get to a secure attachment.

Oh, we also had two tornado warnings today. Just a little rain though.