I remember not being able to make decisions when I was in my teens because I was often told the decisions I made were strange or not what I was supposed to do. Unfortunately, people were often right. So confusion set in. I felt shamed for every little thing. So I didn't like going out that much. I would have loved to have been a more liked young person with whom others would want to connect with. It would have made my life happier and filled with anticipation and I would have enjoyed the present more. I was always looking back instead of being in the present and looking forward. It's like not having any of your own driving force in your life, only someone else's. It often made me want to be that 'someone else who was normal' which made me seem irrational because we all have problems. It's just that when you fail to pick up on social cues, you feel like you failed to connect in some way. The reason people like me felt bad when young is because we tended to think every thing we did was a social faux pas. It's a rather miserable existence.