(((Mandy))) The key thing is, you didn't. In the past, you might have. But when things seemed their blackest (and I agree, that was a bummer of a night!) and you felt like you "should have" ended your life, you didn't.

I know your heart is broken, and life sure doesn't look happy right now. But you made it through to morning. We've all had our hearts broken ..and if not yet, will. It is part of life, a really, really tough part.

When we don't have to rely upon one other person for life, when we are a person who can stand on their own two feet with occasional support from those around us, then we are in a better position to find a similar person, and that makes the best union. Relationships don't work well when the reliance on another is so heavy on them.

You have all the makings of a good future, now that you've realized you can make it through such miserable times.

Try not to misread what she said, though when we're upset that's easy to do. She says she will still answer your emails etc. Try not to read such dark stuff like you did, as it will send you spiraling downward. Force yourself to read uplifting, positive even humorous stuff!

Once you regain your balance, then you can think about what direction you want to go for yourself.