I don’t think I’m manic since I’ve been sleeping. But I’ve spent a lot on Amazon recently. And I have been in this cleaning frenzy for awhile where everything has to be neat and perfect. Even the 3 blankets on my bed I use have to be neatly aligned with each other every morning. I also have to finish things I start. Like books and cereal boxes and boxes of tea and other things. Even though the books aren’t due for another 1.5 weeks and my food is good between November and June 2022. I just feel like I’m just in a hurry to get things done and I don’t know why. But sometimes I just feel a bit frantic. Although it’s not causing me a lot of distress. But my anxiety is kinda sucky today. I drank a lot of tea this morning. It said “low caffeine” so I think it’s just the volume of tea and water that I consumed that is making me feel sick. Although this happened yesterday too. Hopefully my therapist didn’t give me anything. I took my temp yesterday and it was like 97.7.

My mom was standing in my closet door and asked if something was in my dresser. I had a mini panic attack. But luckily she didn’t look anywhere that I don’t want her looking at. I’m missing a few things from the move and I haven’t been able to find them. So when she was at Walmart I looked for them myself in my closet. I didn’t find them but I found a brand new plain black phone case that fits my phone. It still had the styrofoam on the inside. I also found a few book marks which I had needed the other day.

I still didn’t find my book on MJ, my multiple flavors of chapstick, or my $30 noise cancelling ear plugs. Thankfully we found the ashes of 2 of my cats in the garage. Imagine donating that to Goodwill.

My winter vest came and it fit perfectly. Even with a hoodie it will be fine. I’m hoping to be able to cancel the other one. I didn’t know what size to get. I get notices on my phone when things are being delivered from Amazon but my echo also makes a beeping noise. I’m glad Amazon just drops stuff off quickly. I had to shoot the breeze with a Fed Ex driver one time.

Edit: it’s a few hours later and nothing I’m doing is helping my anxiety. Nothing I eat or drink or not drink or my meds are helping my anxiety. And I don’t even know the cause of it. My old therapist told me sometimes we’re just anxious for no reason. But you’d think the Valium or whatever would make it a bit manageable.