Thanks for the kind and supportive words! It really is so hard I feel like I have a good grasp on distraction skills those come very naturally to me but right now I've been working on the STOP skill and it makes me want to scream lol I mean I do scream and I'm trying to STOP! I'm the same with new things I feel like sometimes I'm so moody I just want to say no to everything but at the end of the day that isn't going to make changes. BPD is interesting like that, it seems like you want to push away everything that will help even emotional support can feel unwanted at times, what a roller coaster.