Since I noticed my mood shifts, I started knocking myself out at night with Ambien for about the last 2 or 3 weeks. But it's starting to give me slight headaches and nausea. The chronic insomnia is challenging. Have bad night time anxiety.

Got suddenly depressed about Thursday or Friday last week. Spent most of the weekend in bed. Had myself convinced I should buy a pack of cigarettes (quit 5 months ago) because I didn't care if I got cancer. I didn't buy them. I felt a bit better yesterday. I just feel like such a failure. I'm not good enough. My house is a wreck, I always forget to pay bills, I'm a terrible mom, I suck as girlfriend. I should be better at work, I feel like so many things there are my fault. I don't know, I just needed to vent. I feel alone. I know you guys get it. I don't really have anyone to talk to.

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