@BethRags:

I'm happy to hear that your daughter was raised in a loving supportive home. But you did mention scaring her off with your last episode of mania so her experience has not been completely smooth, from what i understand of what you share here.

Also, you don't know what she experiences as triggering. Of course i don't doubt that you don't *intentionally* trigger her, just as my mom didn't. But i know for me the experience of just chatting with my mom, just hearing her voice and speech patterns, would churn up all sorts of negatives.

I'm not taking sides and i'm not attacking you or calling you a "bad mom." I'm sure that in general you were very loving and supportive and your daughter does have this anxiety problem of her own. But you have to work with that too.

I know my parents did not protest when i blamed them for my brother's death because they knew it was useful for me to blame someone rather than accepting that life just gets out-of-control sometimes and tragedies happen. That's a scary truth for a youngster, for anyone, of any age.

So they just let me be and i'm grateful for that. Now i'm in a safe place and can have a more balanced view of my parents. I say now merely that they "played a role" in my brother's death, not that they were murderers, tho i sometimes lapse back into blame when i'm cranky.

Perhaps my POV is more about me than you. Again, i'm certainly not implying that you were a "bad mom" or that you intentionally harmed your daughter and i'm not taking sides but living with a bipolar parent has got to have it's disadvantages and you say your daughter is uber-sensitive also so perhaps she *is* having an out-of-proportion reaction but it's best to co-operate with her in it as you don't know what her experience is.

I know i appreciated my mom's respect for my own judgment of what was best for me at the time, even tho she did not understand. And i know you don't mean it when you call your daughter "selfish." I feel you're just angry and it's okay to be angry here where it's anonymous and a place to vent but please don't spread it around elsewhere in your life. That's certainly not gonna help things any.

Well, i'm not a mom, but i am a daughter, so i am only speaking for *my* experience of *my* mom and i don't mean any offense. You've certainly been a good friend to me here and i don't want to alienate you and all your loving support.

Feel free to take what you like and leave the rest!