5 months clean today. I've been getting a lot of impulses to use lately just to chill out a bit, but then I remember the horrid sickness I went through and how it didn't really help. I have other ways of coping now even if they don't feel as good in the moment they feel better in the long run. Plus I'm on so many meds right now for schizoaffective I'd be afraid to add painkillers to the mix.