So Sorry for what is going on! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i think i agree with the wise and wonderful RoxanneToto about doing something that you enjoyed doing in the past. It seems like you're still Grieving the Loss of this friendship so take your time i believe. i also believe it is useful to analyze yourself and understand why you attract people of this kind. Perhaps use this occasion to work on yourself and do something nice as well if possible. i Hope things will improve really soon and that you want to improve also. Please do update us if possible if that's something you deside. Love. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @black-roses, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!