Lately I feel put off by people who are my friends. I am no longer friends with that one guy who said constant hurtful things to me. This is good, imo.

There's another guy I'm friends with. He is married and its not romantic, just friendship. But I feel like I am pulling away from him. He's much older, in his 70s. He's very nice and caring but I'm finding myself ruminating over and over about how I think some of the stuff he says and does is stupid. He's blind, has a seeing eye dog, and he has proudly admitted to "popping him one" as a way of discipline - hitting. His dogs are reactive and barks, and when they get that way, he gets somewhat violent with them, pushing them down and yelling at them.

And then there's smaller things like how he compares my knitting speed (slow) to that of someone else who goes faster. I don't think he recognizes that that is what he's doing but it is.

He's been very nice to me and I know he cares about me a lot. I just don't feel like being around him right now. He wants to get together next week. I will tell him I can't.

Me, him, and this other woman from church get together on zoom once a month. I'm honestly not even wanting to meet up with them in September. Earlier this month they were pretty insensitive toward me about something. Again, I doubt either of them recognized this but I'm so put off.

With this woman, we are not good friends in the slightest. We are just in some church groups together and have some similarities. But she seems disinterested in anything closer.

Anyway, my whole point of this post, is that I don't have many friends right now and I likely won't be dumping anymore friends but...I need distance from these 2 ppl. I should probably bring up how I felt they were insensitive to me but I don't want to. Also they always talk over me and its annoying as ****.

I guess I was worried I was reverting back to my old self bc I used to dump my friends a lot in like 2015. And I regret it. But I guess I just seriously need some space. It would be nice to make some new friends, who are my age, who I like.