Loooong time ago, I found the Wikipedia's article about Schizoid Syndrome, and thought "this is me!!".

Long time has passed, so Im not the same I used to be, but some characteristics still remain.

I was, and Im, naturallt pretty quiet. I started having social issues since kid. I "never understood" why people acted the way they acted.

At my 19s, I became an intelectual. Does this has any relationship with being schizoid ?

I felt so different to my peers. Had anhedonia, etc.

And started really suffering loneliness, mostly, romance. I just couldnt imagine to ever find someone to be with. No one was like me.

Then, at my 21 and more, I became really full into intelectual subjects, I was obsessed with study Psychology (even tried at university, but failed). I was into classical music. And also obessed with allucinogica. Marihuana was the best, never tried cocaine, and I was fascinated when I found people and did an Ayahuasca ritual, 3 times. I had a kind of magical thinking, Ayahuasca showing a new world, sincronicity, etc, etc. My behavior and look was excentric, which Ive seen is related to SchIoid, right ?

Then tried to be just normal.

The thing with people: I became so annoyed and uninsterested abiut people. My intelectualism apoderated of me. I saw my friends so flat. And sometimes so dumb, I couldbt stand them.

I felt so different to everyone. People was nice with me, but I felt they were so flat. In reunions I was so bored. Its like I was "the only one like me".

This days... I feel the same. But I manage it to be ok.

But well, things I havent told have happened, and I have depression 24hs a day.

I do have despersonalization when I go out, I feel people watchs me, I feel people see me as something different. Etc, etc.

Is this Schizoid ? Or Schizoid is something else ? I know I match lot of critieria for different personality disorders, but I kinda thinl that what I have is something that could be condensed in 1 syndrome.

Thanks.