I'm so alone

I went to the gas station at midnight for a walk and to buy a coke. My friend was there and invited me to stop by his place any time listen to tunes, smoke weed or play games etc.

I worked this morning so he's probably asleep.

I feel like Idk what I'd say if I was there. I can't organize any of my thoughts. It's like I don't think about anything anymore. I don't remember anything. I'm dumb - I can't speak. I can only write.