Here I go, L. Back into the dream where I was trying to explain myself to V but hadn't yet gotten around to apologizing in the actual dream and I think apologizing to her is where i need to go with this... using her middle initial because her first name starts with T and calling her T would just be too damn confusing. Wish me luck?

eta: well, I got a little bit written and then changed to just writing the therapy letter that I will now go outside and burn. You told me not to read it. But I did. I wanted to make sure I said everything that I needed to say, so as the letter burns I can at last release the shame with the smoke and embers.


btw, I know now that I was right the other day when I said I thought that my shame is not because of her being a woman, but is because of how I hurt her. I pushed that shame so far down into my Shadow (you know how strongly I don't want to feel that I'm "bad"!) that it took this long for a dream to finally coax it out into the light so I could talk about it with you and write this letter.

Thank you SO much for sticking with me all these years. I'm sorry I'm the epitome of a "slow cooker". Your patience knows no bounds and I appreciate you SO much.