Thanks for your support, RoxanneToto. It's just that I got so tired of feeling judged for expressing my feelings. I don't want the damn siblings' pity. They got lucky when they turned out 'normal'. I'd love to see them rush around all the time if that's how they feel about me. That's why I wish I could just leave and abandon my siblings and leave them be. Nothing would change anyway. Why didn't God just throw me back if he knew what my life would look like? Just a thought I had in mind. I don't give a damn about my family's comments anymore. It wouldn't matter what I did. I'd never be good enough for them. So I'd love to leave them 'forever'.