Ok ok ok. I may have touched on the problem. Work starts tomorrow, right? Well the last day at work last year I was so entrenched in paranoia that I was sitting with my chair all the way back against the wall, jumped when the door opened, and did not leave the classroom unless it was necessary. It was the worst episode I ever had and it was completely terrifying.

I think I’m going back to that. I’ve had two self injury dreams and one screaming dream. I’m also feeling very…far off. Just not connected to the world.

Since it is possible that this is the reason, I am better able to handle it. Good news is we moved to a whole new school building so I won’t even have to be prepared for seeing my old classroom. Fresh new start.

I wish I hadn’t cancelled my therapy appt. today. I only did because we were going to the shore and I didn’t know when we’d be back. But I’ll be ok.