It really is debilitating...There was a time in my life that I was cheerful and because of some poor decisions, I find myself in this repetitive cycle of falling into depression and clawing my way out. It's very cloudy right now and I'm not sure if I'm still falling deeper into depression or if I'm at rock bottom starting to claw my way out...I do know that one of the major contributors to this is a business decision that I made - following money instead of following what I really wanted to do. It's such a mess...And at nearly 56 years old, I thought I'd have a better handle on things. All I can do is keep pressing on...and wishing you all well in your personal struggle with this invisible monster.