I used the other one last night. I know you don’t approve but I just really wanted it.

I see you at 10 on Thursday and then I have my ultrasound and exam at 2:30. Honestly I’m thinking of cancelling with you that day. I know if you were transference T I’d be flooding my basement thinking of how concerned she would be the whole time. But you are not transference T and I feel like you may make the situation worse and me more anxious. Especially when I tell you I’m worried about the pain that may be involved. I’m worried you are going to say that “yeah there’s going to be pain. But just control what’s in your control.” And honestly you can go **** yourself with that whole “control what you can” statement you always say. I find it completely invalidating of my feelings.

So maybe I should just cancel with you on that day.