Hi, I'm new here and I know I'm probably going to come off weird. But here goes. I kicked my husband out and filed for divorce after 18 yrs of marriage. He never put me first or the kids. I always had to take care of everything. All I ever wanted from him was for him to love me and he couldn't. Now mind you I did a lot wrong but mostly it was because I stopped caring about myself. He let his family put me down. When we got behind on rent one of his good friends offered to give me the $$$ for a sex act. I told him about it and he said do what you want. At this point if he could say that I didnt care so I did it. He kept taking money off from ppl and wouldn't pay it back and they'd come to me to take care of it. Finally he stopped showering and only played video games. He would come to bed at like 3am and it just spiraled from there. Now that I've kicked him out hes gotten a job, showers regularly and has a new gf. We've been apart a little over a month. Why cant I just unlove him why do I keep crying over him. I feel like I'm being tore apart.