It just hurts so badly that here I hunted all over for mother's bottle of pills and I couldn't help her find them. I mean I went behind furniture and everything and I even looked in several other areas too. Because of it, I was so upset and she booted me out of the room. I just don't care anymore. I would love to see her pray to God and grovel for them because that's what she would have to do if not even God can help her. I really hate those pills. I really do because I feel it's rather hopeless. I just hate life. Life will do anything to spoil your good mood. I might as well forget about them since I probably won't find them for at least several days. I'm sure I won't. Nothing can cure the unhappiness I'm feeling but forgetting and distracting myself. I can't remedy anything except if I have a problem. I don't know why I bother trying at all. I mean I can try and try and get nowhere. I'm starting to not care. It's no use if you can't help anything. I'm too helpless to help her.