And... another thread on here got me thinking that perhaps our discussion yesterday was also a gentle reminder that at the end of the day this is a professional relationship that I pay you for and while it feels close and friendly, we are not friends. That's hard, but I get it. I do. I would never tell my friends some of the things you have listened to over the years, not even the closest ones. H doesn't even know some of it. It's hard to understand sometimes that in order for me to be able to share that stuff with you, we had to first develop this deep connection/alliance but once we did I could tell you anything. Now I have internalized it, can 'talk' to you in my head anytime I want, and maybe it's time I start being about letting go of the outer relationship. I've got a lot of thinking and writing to do over the next couple of months while we aren't meeting. Yes, I'm a "slow cooker" as you said, and this is gonna take some time too.

Anyway our 10 year 'thera-versary' is in a little over 2 months. Maybe we should meet again on that date and use that occasion to talk about the "goodbye" that you said this break is not. I think this morning that perhaps this break is kinda like a "pre-goodbye" or a "practice goodbye" if there is any such thing.

Regardless, one thing is true: I will always love you.