L, I'm back to feeling sad this morning. I'm ping-ponging all over the place. I feel like you're mad at me, that you're punishing me for something and I don't know what I did wrong, and like you want me gone forever. I feel like when you erased my name in your appointment book you were erasing ME. Even though this break was my idea too!


I know this doesn't make any sense. You said you were putting my new card on file for when I come back, and also said you'd be raising my rate to your current one because I (finally) got a raise at work. And you even said "This isn't goodbye". If you were kicking me out for good you wouldn't have said those things. Right?


But knowing those things doesn't make me feel any better. I'm too damn ****ing attached to you and I need to figure out how not to be. This sucks. And mostly it sucks because I understand that the level of attachment was needed for me to do the work that I did with you. But now that I don't need it anymore, what the **** am I supposed to DO with it to make it go away?