I’m doing ok today. I took one of my anti vertigo meds last night. I mainly wanted it for sleep but I had a bit of vertigo too. Although I wasn’t lying to myself. I wanted it to help me sleep. It worked and I fell asleep around 6:30 and I woke up at 4:30 to try to use the bathroom but I couldn’t find my way there because I was drowsy. I think my brother was in there though. So I went back to bed and I woke up at my usual time but I needed a can of iced coffee, and a Mountain Dew and I had to watch some TV just so I felt stable enough to take a shower. Maybe the anti vertigo med with the melatonin and 160mil of Geodon wasn’t the best combination. But I feel ok today. Still kind of tired but I’m ok physically.

I am going to go out of state to my hometown on Tuesday. And come back on Wednesday. There’s a restaurant I want to go to that I discovered right before the lockdown and there’s some stores I want to go to that I shopped at a lot before. We will stay at the same hotel near the hospital my surgery was at. The one near my aunt. So We’ll have dinner with my aunt. I hope it’s at her house since I don’t feel like eating at a restaurant twice in one day. I feel ok with going out once to eat but going out twice in one day is taking it a bit too far. I’m just trying to be careful because of Covid. I know I’m vaccinated so I don’t have to be entirely out of control scared or overly cautious. But I still want to be pretty careful. So eating out once is what I’m comfortable with.

But I’m excited about going on a mini trip that will distract me from my ultrasound on the 9th and I’m looking forward to going to the few stores I went to often that I don’t have here.

Edit: she’s making grilled salmon for dinner. She asked if we’d rather eat out instead and we told her we wanted to eat at her house. I guess I feel a bit guilty having her cook a big dinner like that. But it’s just not very safe to eat out and I’m already doing it once during that day. I have a feeling she’s glad we don’t want to go out.

I have a friend who was hoping to see me. She doesn’t know I’m coming next week but I had mentioned making a trip soon. But I honestly don’t want to see her because she’s not vaccinated. Plus I am trying to make this trip as easy and fun and as least anxiety provoking as I can make it. And seeing someone who hasn’t seen me in a couple years and hasn’t seen the true me is too much right now.

I drank a mango Pepsi that expired on June 21st. I’ll drink expired soda but nothing else that has expired. Even if it’s technically still ok to eat. Like I think unopened dairy products you can eat safely for up to a month past their expiration date. I know all the “best by” and “use by” phrases all mean different things. I’m now drinking a Vanilla Pepsi that expired on the 16th of August. I think I got it a day or 2 past that date. But it’s not a big deal. Vanilla Pepsi is hard to find.

But man do I feel like ripping out my ovaries myself right now. My lower stomach hurts sooo badly. My Tylenol wears off like clockwork.