Do you know which approach your therapist trained in? A lot depends on that. It also depends on how your trauma affects you.

As you say, talking about it over and over isn't necessarily going to help unless it's giving you a different experience in the process which is ultimately healing. My T believes that the experience of being listened to and empathised with in a caring relationship where emotions can be felt and expressed can be reparative and that is proving to be the case for me. It's also been about feeling accepted for who I am and how I feel. I've had therapists in the past but I didn't experience the same relational depth so while I talked a lot about the past, I didn't experience healing in terms of finding closure.

It's so individual that it's hard to say what will work for you. Clearly talking over and over with this T isn't so good for you for reading a book on it and getting a new perspective. Trauma and emotions are stored in the body so maybe you haven't released the emotions enough yet? Sometimes working creatively can shift trauma in a way that talking can't. If you're experiencing depression, could this be because you need to work on who you are and want to be beyond the trauma? Find an identity?

It sounds like you feel stuck and want to find a new approach. I'm curious about why your therapist won't use EMDR as a lot of people find that useful. Do you know why? I understand her fear of hurting you but sometimes risk taking is necessary.

Maybe a conversation with her about how stuck you are and what you want to try, whether that proves to be with her or without her, might be useful?