I haven’t thought much at all about current T. I’m not mad today at her about how she’s been towards me. It’s just who she is. I just know she won’t help me because our views on things are different. If I don’t have a final session with her before I move on to my next therapist. That is fine. If she wants to do a final session. Then that is fine too. I don’t dislike her for her views and attitudes I just don’t understand them.

But transference T has been in the back of my head all day. And I wish I knew why I still think of her. But no one can give me an answer and no one seems to be able to help me out with getting over these feelings. I can’t remember how long it took me to get over other things/people. But I feel like this is one of the longest ones.

Funny story with my unprofessional T, the last one I had. I really had to blow my nose and I just kinda blanked out for a second because I had no Kleenex and my anxiety got high. and she said “mountaindewed are you ok?” And all I needed was to blow my ****ing nose. But I want that kind of support and caring and understanding in a therapist. But not with all the weird stuff that they have also been doing.