It’s also hard because I know my t can’t be the one to provide that kind of relationship and that’s what hurts the most because I feel like she gave me a glimpse of what it’s like and quickly took it away 🥲

In my experience, that is the work. To have a different experience in the present is both magical and excruciatingly painful.

Your internal bits are doing two things (well probably lots more actually!) You are learning what life should have been like for you. Over time repeatedly, this will hopefully help you to create that good life for yourself, by doing nice things for yourself, talking kindly to yourself etc and also by finding people to be in your life who help you to experience those things. But also you will learn to grieve for your family not being there for you in that way. To feel the hurt and the anger and all that good stuff.

Without a T modelling what it should have been like, how would someone who has never experienced that know? How would they know that that is a possibility?

This type of work has been life changing for me, but it isn't for everyone I guess.

Not sure if that makes sense but I hope it does.