I did something spontaneous today because I needed to, and I need a change. It's positive in some lights, and with time, and I'm sure some maintenance I won't hate it so bad lol. I went to get my haircut and the lady who does it is pretty laid back. She is willing to play around and is rather lax. I just told her "Look, I really liked what you did last time. But I want something a little different. I don't actually have anything in mind, just that I need it cut. Medium, short, whatever is fine. Any style is fine -- just help me feel it's a change.". She did. I can't say the way it's styled that I really like it. The cut is versatile and I have options with it, but I am not an instant fan thus far-- but feel about 1000lbs lighter lol. I'm not gonna gripe until I know the full effect of it (meaning a wash to get this product out and playing with it some, and giving it some weeks to maybe grow out some). My mom has thus far seen my hair in pics and says it looks really good. I'm not convinced.

Other than that, woke up in a weird place. Still having those insanely vivid dreams, that aren't nightmares -- but still equally insane lol. Last night I was in the African Serengeti in this dream, but it was rather irrelevant to what was happening. I don't remember quite well what that was at this moment, but like my dreams have been recently, people come out of the woodwork -- people I've not seen/heard of in a long time, dead relatives etc. It's interesting how dreams manifest, just saying. Just as a side note, and really not worth focusing on. Remember how my ex's new spouse reached out? I noticed his profile photo is now BOTH of them, and he's blocked me. So I can probably assume they reconciled (which I said I hoped that they could) and I guess he's trying to keep me out of their relationship-- which is how it should be. He reached out to me, not the other way around and honestly I've never played into their issues. I know I didn't do anything wrong in the things I said or did. I wished them both well from day one, and I simply told him I understood the issues and hope they can resolve them. I don't take it personal, but I kinda do at the same time. Either way, I hope it they last.

Nothing really planned for today, perhaps more language study, perhaps a game, perhaps some web development. I was in a hypomanic state and bought around $300 of courses on Udemy once upon a time. Might as well put them to use, right? One plan is to go walking in a few hours.


Antipsychotics and mood stabilizers are supposed to help with issues, and I just started meds after a long time off them, and the depression has been the issue for awhile.. I'm just a little curious if staving off the depression is pushing me to euthymia, which I've not experienced in years ... or into a hypomania. I don't think I'm to a point of concern, but I am markedly different than when I was very depressed. But being OK is not a concern, right? lol. I'm over thinking this.

I'll check in later. It's a nice day, I have a new lease on life, and a new haircut. Maybe I can just go walking, eat my dinner, take my meds, and keep on keepin' on ... I could do worse than that.