I’ve been strangely stable for a couple days. I don’t know if it’s just the vacation. But I’m glad to be home and stuff. But I wasn’t sad leaving my hometown. I was dwelling on stuff for months and then when I was actually in the area I didn’t think much of it. I didn’t even pay attention when we drove past my old T’s office yesterday. I didn’t feel sad in my home state. My anxiety was low for the most part and it still is. Maybe I’m just in the honeymoon stage still. Or taking 30 mil of melatonin every night really ****ed with my moods for a year.

But I also ate well but not too much. But today and yesterday I ate actual good meals and I had been eating just rice cakes, cereal, goldfish crackers, ramen and zero sugar Mountain Dew for weeks.

I didn’t take any melatonin last night. I just slept naturally for the first time in over a year.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s also because I haven’t had therapy in 12 days and it was just running me down.