As for figuring out what is normal for him, try to think about the past. I'm sure he hasn't always used that much shower gel! Don't be afraid to correct things like that.

It is important for him to "take breaks" from Concerta. Both so you can gauge his progress. You may find his ADD symptoms are improved and he won't be as bad off as you are imagining.

Doctors always have friends. They will give you a referal with no questions asked! Provided you haven't been a difficult patient hah.