My mom went through like 4-5 water coolers past few years. They always leak. I tried Googling how to fix one but it seems to me like they make money using parts that wear out after a certain time. I will get to the bottom of it though...

I feel like life has sucked the life out of me. I've been feeling different these past few months. I'm not getting dissociative panic attacks anymore but the night time euphoria is gone. I feel sort of depressed and stressed out all of the time - Day and night.

My neuroplasticity is decreasing. I can feel it. I tried psilocybin a few times a month but it isn't enough. I fear that I'll go back into an anhedonic or nihilistic state like I was before my trip - Although it will never be as bad as it was.

I wonder if ketamine would help. I bought a racetam called "Omberacetam" which is supposed to be neuroprotective and improve memory (Cuz my memory is terrible now - Maybe from the pandemic) so I'll try that first.

I just need to feel alive in a way.... and I have not since forever. I'm looking forward to my vacation.