@Mountaindewed, I hope that your new therapist will become even more supportive. I can't speak for you, but from my perspective you are embarking on some mighty major new territory to process. Certainly one I would think would require an extremely helpful mental healthcare team. I can't help but wonder the full scope of what you are feeling about your upcoming surgery. Do you feel an anticipation for what you hope to be relief? It would seem to me something way beyond most other categories of surgical procedures...psychologically speaking.

You're still so young. I'm sorry that you might experience discomforts that wouldn't normally be present at your age. I do hope the surgery "relieves" far more than any possible challenges (even temporary ones) that might result. Certainly self medicating with benzos and other psychotropics is not an adequate substitution for careful therapeutic processing. Perhaps you might discount my writing that, but I know a whole lot about "self-medicating". Many more years than you've likely done so. I'm 50, not in my 20s or 30s anymore.

I certainly don't fully understand the journey you've been taking, and will take. For that reason, I don't often respond to your posts. I'm stumped for what to write. But regardless, I do send you hugs and strength for your journey. And hope you are truly ready for the next steps. Just bipolar disorder, alone, can be a unique (to each person) and highly challenging one. Certainly a sore throat from a possible GA intubation would be among the very least of concerns, to my perspective. But again, I am not in your shoes.