I’ve been doing better with the melatonin these last few nights. I just know I was super stable before I started my transition. I was working a part time job and picking up extra shifts when asked to work them. I was a good employee. I had zero issues with my therapist. I didn’t have any transference with her at all or feel the need to contact her outside of sessions.

I just like became this different person once I started my transition. And then when I got my first top surgery in October 2020 I felt like it almost changed my personality. Either from the pain meds or the anesthesia. I got bad post op depression that lasted for months. But I’m beyond happy with the results and I still lift up my shirt everyday to look at my chest and I can look down and I just feel like how I should be physically. But mentally, I feel like a guy, but I feel like a very mentally unstable guy.