I think dissociation is like a reaction of the brain to collect thoughts and images to escape from trauma.. Like daydreaming, having extra thoughts - And when you believe the escape to be real and can't journey back to this realm, - That's psychosis.

I listened to a podcast - I probably shouldn't have shared it with people that have schizophrenia but the reason I did is because they wouldn't be as affected by it as me. It's the craziest podcast I've listened to... About Ayahuasca, healing, shared hallucinations, higher dimensional realms, not having a physical body and spirituality.

I was explaining it to my mom and she got concerned. I was talking like how my dad talks. I think my dad has a form of borderline psychosis all of the time. I can't help it that I act certain ways when I'm excited but also terrified of out there information like this.. JunkDNA said that I shouldn't listen to Terence Mckenna etc too much because it mess me up - And it's true..

Y'know how everyones schizophrenia is different because we're all different people? Like we have different hallucinations would be an example.. - Psychosis has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING - Because trauma and peoples types of karma determines which realm you end up in. Genes seem to cause a similar reality though.. I watched a JBP podcast with Eric Weinstein and they were debating genetics, evolution, society/groups of people.. It was the most hard to grasp conversation I've heard as well (This was 2-3 weeks ago)..

It seems like everything that I learn, I get triggered by it. It makes me think that I'm not supposed to be in this reality. The podcast was talking about the 9 layers of reality (We're in the 3rd) and how - without a body, anything that you think of appears before your eyes.. I have this sometimes when I close my eyes before going to sleep. I like to see closed eye visual (CEV) hallucinations related to and after every thought that I think about and it's a form of mediation.

I'm gonna just dip myself into information like this only sometimes and listen to JunkDNA, stay ignorant of too much about the spirit world and enjoy what I have.. I don't think that writing this would trigger anyone because I don't believe that anyone would think about it as deeply as I do.