Have you worked on this issue with a therapist? That might be something important to pursue because you learned that approach somewhere and it will probably take time to learn how to regulate your emotions and communicate on a more adult level when conflicts arise.

I'm sort of the opposite. I'm a teacher, so I've mastered the ability to stay calm in a crisis. I have a very strong "adult" in me. LOL. (Actually, my mother always said even as a small child I was had that strong "adult" part - which I probably learned from watching my mostly very calm parents.) It involves A LOT of intentional slowing myself down and CHOOSING not to react without thinking first. It is very much more cognitive than emotional which is why perhaps some therapy to learn those skills of thinking before reacting may be in order.