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Sep 14, 2021, 06:10 AM
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Thanks for all the replies.
@Miguel'smom:
No, my hypo-manias are all euphoric and delightful, except when i crash and am mixed, which is Hell. I feel this is not a mood episode.
@~Christina:
Yes, i think i'll be on benzos for life. It *does* help me manage living. I thought all it did was make me an addict but the sedation was very helpful. I'd rather be in a chemical straight-jacket than a real one. Not much of a choice tho. No i haven't tried Gabapentin nor Buspar but the last thing i want is MORE meds.
@Soupe du jour:
That's great that you only use benzos occasionally, as they are supposed to be used. I actually *did* apologize to the clerk i offended, three times over. At first he rejected my apology but by the third time he said, "It's okay" so i felt he accepted my apology in the end. I didn't swear or call him names, so there's that. Thanks for saying i'm not the first angry customer he's encountered. It's so hard with these giant plexi-glass shields and masks -- we can't tell what the other is saying and having to raise my voice just makes me seem more aggressive than i am and actually triggers my aggression. Will be so happy when all this nonsense is O-V-E-R. Will lay low for a while and stay out of the mall. There's a power-center i can get to easily and it means a lot of walking as they are designed for drivers but the mall is too risky at the moment.
@downandlonely:
Yes, i have tried DBT twice. But it was DBT Day Hospitals as we call them here in Canada, it's PHP or IOP in The States. The group-format was too intense. One i quit after three weeks as they all hated me and said i used big words and one i got kicked out of after two weeks because i got hypo-manic. I feel DBT is just a bunch of gimmicks anyways, a bunch of mnemonics. I've read about it a lot. I haven't tried an individual DBT therapist but up here i fall thru the cracks, not poor enough to qualify for a free therapist and not rich enough to be able to afford one i'd pay myself. Anyways, i've had a referral for a psychiatrist who also does therapy (the only way i could get therapy covered by our mediocre public plan) in play for about six months, they are few-and-far-between. It could be another six months and then who is to say i could get along with the person? I've been harmed by therapists in the past so it's probably futile to retry therapy. I feel that only love kills the demon. I have people that love me now and i am feeling much better and when they demonstrate that love over and over i feel healing taking place. I'm glad DBT worked for your mom and that others find it useful but it's not for me. I've just started with an online support group in my city and that's helpful. I like peer support over professional support.
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