I hate my therapist and I wish there were other options besides her but right now there aren’t. She gave me a bunch of time slots but she doesn’t have anything for the next 3 weeks. I really wanted to see her on the 27th. Then the first appointment she has is on October 6th. Which is 6 days after my surgery. And I don’t think I’m going to feel like having a session that day. I don’t even know if I’ll be out of bed and my doctor said I won’t be off pain meds for a week. Does she really want to see what I’m like on opiates? She has enough of an issue with the valium. I told her yesterday I wasn’t sure I’d be making the appointment on the 11th. So then she schedules me on the 6th. As well as the 11th. Does she not listen? I feel like I’m intentionally being ****ed over so I’ll just stop seeing her.

I actually dreamt this scenario this morning. I had a dream where I wanted to see her but I couldn’t because she didn’t have any openings. Then when I woke up I thought “well I’m seeing her on the 27th. Which will be good.”

I have a sty/pimple on my eye. It itches and burns. I’ve had them plenty of times. I’m just doing the warm compress as usual. I had a real bad one when I was 7.

She hasn’t responded to the kinda *****y email I sent to her. So I guess I’m just stuck with those dates. She said she has me on a cancellation list in case someone cancels in the next 3 weeks. I just don’t know how well I’ll be doing on the 6th and 11th. And I told her yesterday and I felt like she got it. Now I’m not sure she understood.

I know I act entitled a lot but sometimes I just feel like people don’t listen to me. And I’m talking about my therapist and my mom.