I mean I got my point across today and I got the answer I wanted even if I was kind of a jerk about the way I did it. I didn’t know how else to do it besides get vocal about what I needed. I do know though that it’s not just me. There’s just not a connection. I did make it out of the house. I went to the library and I got my flu shot and I even took a walk for the first time in awhile. I just have some situational things going on that are making things tough.

I have been acting very very bornderlinish today towards my therapist. My self esteem and self worth have been mild and my visible mood swings are better. I didn’t do anything risky. So I think it’s just my PMDD that often mirrors BPD but it only happens 10 days out of the month. I do try very hard to avoid the word abandonment since I rarely feel it but I used it today and I felt it.