I must have taken 50mil of melatonin last night. And I woke up not a minute past my usual time at 4:30. Why the **** is nothing helping me sleep past this certain time? No matter what I take or don’t take or how early or how late I go to bed it’s always the same frigging time.

I also weighed the same this morning even though I ate healthy yesterday. I ate an entire bag of frozen broccoli and a piece of salmon for dinner. I don’t understand why when I eat total crap I drop 3 pounds overnight but when I eat healthy my weight doesn’t budge. And people don’t understand that this is just how my body works and why I eat this way. They think it’s an issue.

Although I do feel better mental health wise and physically then I did yesterday. So I guess eating a healthy dinner may have helped but I honestly just want to lose 25 pounds. Not maintain at 165 even though I don’t look bad right now. But I was 187 last Thanksgiving so there has been a lot of progress.

I expect to lose quite a bit after my surgery based on what I’ve read. And with my experiences with my other surgeries.