I was out shopping today. Which I hate. The stores are crowded and I’m always on edge as I should be. I shouldn’t be scared but I should just be aware of my surroundings. Although I’ve never really had an issue. But we stopped at a TJ Maxx because I need a soap dish. I didn’t find one. Then we stopped at a few other stores in the area and I got some macaroons which are hard to find. Then we decided to stop at a couple Goodwills. They had some good looking Nike shoes but people were just hovering over me so I left that area and then I came back and some bigger taller intimidating dude just hovered over me. That’s when I had enough and just left the store completely. There have been other creepy people at that particular store before. So then I went to a nicer goodwill and I got a couple sweaters and a Batman hoodie. That one was ok but I felt like some guy was following me and I was getting a bit panicked. He was just behind me everywhere I went. Finally my mom found me and called my name and he looked up at me and then I think he left. I went to the fitting room to try the stuff on and by the time I got out he was gone. But it’s just frustrating for me to leave my house. Ever since Covid I’ve adapted to online shopping for everything and now going into stores freaks me out. Also the cashier at the Goodwill was on her cell phone while ringing my stuff up. I’m guessing she’s the manager if she can get away with that.

I don’t know about the guy at the first Goodwill but I assume I was just being paranoid about the other people. I then went to get lunch and I asked for the lunch special and they ended up giving me full size servings of everything. Which is cool if you don’t eat the way I do. So I gave my mom the second piece of pizza and I’ve just been fooling around with the spaghetti for half an hour not really eating it and not sure now how to figure out my calories for the day. I mean I’m probably the only one who’d complain about being given extra food for free.

But still no news from my doctors which I think is greatly impacting how I’m functioning and controlling my moods and anxiety. I have a few more hours where they could possibly call today. Or else I’ll have to deal with this same anxiety all weekend. I’ve been good about relaxing these past few weekends though.

Oh yeah and I first stopped at Big Lots because they brought back those creme savers candies but only to Big Lots. I didn’t find them but I found some pumpkin spice Moon Pies. I don’t know if stores just sold out really fast or didn’t get enough in, but it’s only the middle of September and the fall food sections at stores are pretty much empty. They usually get stuff in mid august.