Hi! New here.
My husband and I have been married for nearly 5 years. There were always some little warning signs (he could be unreasonable at times and hyper-sensitive) but then 3 years ago, it started to blow up. He would have rages where it was like he was someone else. He was extremely moody and would lash out at me.

I started seeing a domestic violence therapist who helped me a lot and I was able to work on my own strength and seeing his behavior for what it was, rather than blaming myself.

After I threatened to leave, he committed to his own therapy (therapist and psychiatrist) and there was improvement.

We go through good and bad times. He reacts poorly to stress. He started a new job this year and we also had a complicated move to a new house, both of which were big triggers for him and instigated new rages and periods of lashing out.

There has been some improvement over the years and the episodes aren’t as frequent as they used to be. But I struggle. On days I go to the office, I take my glasses and cell charger in case something sets him off and I can’t go home. When something upsets him, he’ll go over and over and over it. He complains about people and is extremely negative about things. Frequently threatens to quit his job (to me) over minor issues or misunderstandings.

Much of the time, he’s reasonable, fun, thoughtful and mature. But all it takes is an annoyance…

All of this is exhausting to be around. Currently, I’m working on my boundaries to not allow him to use me as an emotional trash can. But it’s hard. Especially since I don’t have people in my life I can go to. I’m hoping to find additional support and resources here.